Brazilian Wax is NOT Mandatory

If you’re here because you’re curious about my depilatory preferences (and, ew! why would you be???), I’m really sorry to disappoint, but this is really not what this post is about! Nope, it’s just that… as all of you my faithful readers must know, and if you’ve just wandered in here you’re about to find out, I’m Brazilian, and as I meet foreign people, both online and in person quite often, I find there are many, many misconceptions about my country and our culture. I try to understand how big the world is and how we can’t know everything about every country, so, instead of choking them to death with their own ignorance, I just try to take a deep breath and educate them a little. Honestly, I’m kidding about the choking (kinda!). I know I, myself, have many misconceptions about several countries (I probably shouldn’t name any), and if I were to arrive there, their natives would probably feel the same way I do as I assuredly provided them with a bunch of laughable fictional facts about their home country. So, I’m taking this opportunity to educate (and hopefully entertain) my international readers about Brazil and share some experiences with my fellow Brazilian friends. I think I’ll divide my blog in little sessions today! Let’s start with the title quote?

Brazilian Wax is NOT Mandatory
You’d think it’s too personal of a question for people to ask someone they’d just met right? “Hey, so, what do you look like, you know, *wink* down there?” But when you’re Brazilian, I guess there are no boundaries, because I hear that all the flippin’ time. You have no idea just how often right after I say I’m from Brazil people go like, “Oh, so, you have a “Brazilian”, huh?” *nudge* PEOPLE!!!! You’re asking about my Hooha! So, anyway, people assume that just because I’m from Brazil I’d submit myself to excruciating pain every two weeks to keep it bare like that. Not only I, but every woman, especially young women in my country. Let me tell you: That’s bullshit. We don’t. I’m a 23 year old Brazilian girl, and I know, very, very, very few women, either my age, younger or older who have “Brazilians”. I’m thinking maybe three or four. And, yes, OF COURSE we talk about these things, of course I read in magazines and blogs, so, I know what I’m talking about. And, really, if you’ve just met a Brazilian and think it’s funny asking that, it’s not. Trust me.

The little Brazilian Village
When I say I live in Brazil, people often ask me to talk about the village I live in. I could talk about my “village” here, you know? But don’t they say a picture is worth 1000 words? So, here, see for yourself. Here’s the “little village” I live in.

That’s right. My little village is a city called Fortaleza, which happens to be in the top 5 biggest cities in the country in population with almost 3 million people and in development. Said enough? Moving on…

The famous Lambada from the popular Brazilian Carnaval
So, I was watching this movie, right? YOU AGAIN, it was. There was a wedding in it and the bride and groom has met in Mardi Gras, so, the wedding planner thought she’d make it Carnaval themed, after the famous Brazilian Carnaval, in which, apparently, it plays Lambada. Well, I could be wrong, but I’ve lived here for the 23 years I’ve been alive and “Samba” is the song for Carnaval. Not only that, the song they were playing wasn’t even Lambada. It happens so often in movies and tv show, when they want to play “Brazilian” music, they just throw in anything “latino” (usually sang in Spanish) and assume they’re all the same. Which leads to my next subject.

¡Hola, chica! ¿Como Estás?
This is probably the most common misconception of all. I say I’m from Brazil, instantly, the person starts to talk to me in Spanish. While it’s easy to understand WHY there’d be confusion since most of the rest of Latin American was colonized by the Spanish, it’s hard for me to accept it. WE DO NOT SPEAK SPANISH!!! IN BRAZIL, WE SPEAK PORTUGUESE. Sorry, sometimes, I just feel like screaming it. It’s like saying the capital of Brazil is Buenos Aires (It’s NOT, that’s the capital of Argentina, George W. Bush made that mistake in an interview once!). I guess for someone like me, who’s always loved social Geography so much, it’s hard to understand how people wouldn’t have such basic knowledge of other nations.

I think that’s it for today’s lesson. Wasn’t it FUN??? Like I was just saying, I love Geography, and I really love learning about the world I live in, about the countries, the cultures, the people. I do believe we live as a whole, as one, and, with the internet, the world becomes smaller and smaller every day. I think it’s always nice to learn something new! 🙂

So, tell me, readers, do people have a lot of misconceptions about your country? What are they? Did you learn something new about Brazil today? Can you tell me something about YOUR COUNTRY? And, for my Brazilian readers, and as well my foreigner ones, do you have misconceptions about other countries? Have you ever asked someone something really stupid about their country?

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22 Comments

Filed under Life in General

22 responses to “Brazilian Wax is NOT Mandatory

  1. Verônica

    By the way, waxing is a thing of the past. Now there’s laser, IPL, you name it. And well, I do think most Brazilian ladies either wax or shave down there.
    I think we Brazilians do have many misconceptions about other countries as well. Today, in class, we happened to be doing one activity about tourism and a city in Bosnia came up. My students didn’t know where it was and one of them asked me what Cancun was. That’s right, what and not where… But she was a teenager, if that’s a good excuse…

    • Verônica, noooo, I didn’t mean girls go all natural down there, at all. But there’s a big difference between doing your bikini line and keeping it pretty and trimmed and getting “The Brazilian” (which is going completely bare — all the way from front to back!). That’s what most girls won’t get. God, I do hope most girls do some, you know, ehhh, maintenance work 🙂

      Yes, I’m sure we have a lot of misconceptions as well. I guess being a teenager (or even being Brazilian) can be an excuse for some of them, but NOT for asking *what* Cancun is.

  2. Dude. You just made want a caprinia. On the beach. In Florianoplois. I’m not sure I spelled all that correctly.

    • Amanda! Who loves Brazil after having visited it! You know, I don’t like caipirinha. You got Florianópolis *almost* right, I’m sure it was a typo over a mistake! Thank you for commenting! 😀

  3. *SNORT* you said Hooha! I also love how you replied about “maintenance work”. We call it “trimming the verg” “hedge trimming” “manicuring the lawn” and a variety of other fun little phrases.

    Thank you for the education there B. At least I can say that I did know that you speak Portuguese there and NOT Spanish. Someday I’d love to come visit. I hardly ever leave the US (don’t have a passport so that could hinder my travel plans a tad). Very sad that those kids did not know “what” Cancun was. I mean seriously, its in the same hemisphere and its a HUGE travel destination. I knew what and where it was when I was 8! Does make you wonder about kids anymore right?

    • Jen, LOL! You have no idea how much brain power was spent on Hooha!!! I wanted a cute euphemism for lady parts, that wasn’t vulgar, but couldn’t think of anything. I read “snatch” the other day but didn’t like the sound of that. I’d heard that word “Hooha” before, but couldn’t remember where, so, I had no context to know how it played, so, I was praying it didn’t have a bad connotation like the p or t words. I’m so glad it worked! 😀

      Maintenance work, yes. I knew a few terms for that. Again, I went for cuteness. I like cute!!!

      On Cancun, though, I think it’s sort of excusable, in a way. It’s in the same “hemisphere”, if you think Western, but so is Buenos Aires, and I’m thinking most Americans wouldn’t know where that is when most 8 year old Brazilians would, so, I think it has a lot to do with proximity and culture, too. So, I can understand, roughly, if I open my mind to the rationality of human being. But, to me, Barbie Furtado, a Geography buff who can point any country in a map and tell you their capital, it’s absolutely inexcusable! 😛

  4. comment.
    jk. Misconceptions about people, not just from America, but from Alabama:
    1. We are not all podunk, redneck Nascar fans.
    2. Not everything we eat is fried
    3. Not everyone is racist
    4. You do have to choose…Alabama or Auburn (War Damn Eagle)
    5. We’re not all Southern Baptists
    6. We can read
    7. We don’t inbreed (at least most of us)
    8. Some of us do hate Nick Saban…me!me!
    9. Sweet tea IS awesome
    10. We don’t all fly rebel flags, drive pickup trucks, and wear cowboy boots (although I must say I look dead sexy in m boots and cut off jean mini skirt)

    • So, Amber, you’re telling me you don’t sit on your fat racist illiterate Alabaman asses all day, eating fried stuff and drinking beer and watching Nascar races???? I’m honestly shocked!!! :O

  5. I get what you’re saying. And I agree with you.
    The speaking Spanish thing has happened to me. People assume that is our native language, only a few ask: “What language do you speak, it is Spanish? It sounds familiar, but it’s different…”
    And about the village: one girl at work, which seems really clever, sometimes comes with stupid sentences, like “Is Brazil like a jungle?”, “Are there lots of monkeys running around?” and when one guy said he wanted to go to Brazil one day she says “What are you gonna do there?” as if there is really nothing to be done! And I remember now, another girl, just finishing high school asking me where Brazil was on the map, if it “was like in Europe…” I could not believe it.
    Yeah, sometimes I think just like you, when you say that you like Geography and like to learn about other countries. But every once in a while I think, that most people, really do not care, about anything. What matters for them is going to clubs on weekends, and church on Sundays. Yeah, you read me right.

    • Mari, really on the Spanish??? I usually get that they expect Portuguese to sound like Spanish, but it’s NOTHING like it.

      I never got if Brazil was like the jungle (Thank Goodness), but did get if I’d ever seen a monkey, because I must have been to the Amazon (right, ’cause I live right ’round the corner. NOT!). It’s only like, half a country away.

      People are often surprised to see how BIG Brazil is in a map. And I’m so sad people aren’t more interested in Geography. It really is the best subject.

      Thanks for commenting 🙂

  6. Diane

    LMAO! Serious misconceptions!!!! and LMAO @ BF the Geography Queen Bee – gotta love you darling! OK, enough exclamation points. [!!!!] <— sorry, coudn't resist just a few more. Most of us are abysmal at world knowledge let alone world history. Heck, far too many are clueless to their own nation's history. And, is this where I should comment on "mowing the lawn"??? I think not. Whatever….. I am, as always, intreagued by Ms B's blog topics.

    • One can never have too many exclamation points, I always say!!!!! 😀

      What??? You’re not commenting on your “Depilatory preferences????” I posted this whole blog JUST BECAUSE I was waiting for you to comment so I’d know 😛 No, for real, though!!!!

      It really is sad how little we know of world History and especially our own country’s (note, I’m including myself in this, while I’ve always LOVED Geography, I was never much of a History person!)

      I’m glad I intrigue you, D 😀

  7. Wrote a post just for you babes!!!

    Check it out at http://messingthingsup.blogspot.com/

    Cheers,
    Prix. =)

  8. Verônica

    Prix, loved your blog.
    Barbie, I had never heard about Brazilian waxing as total hair removal. So I checked this site:
    http://hairremoval.about.com/od/waxing/a/bikini-styles.htm
    They say that a landing strip is sometimes left in the front. I have never seen any waxing places in Brazil doing total hair removal, except when a woman is about to give birth. So, is it something that people actually do?? I don’t think so.
    Anyway, as Prix mentioned, sometimes the conveniences of modern world just make people lazy to learn about other things which are not immediately related to their personal lives. I’m afraid that, even though I am a teacher, that is something I cannot change, unfortunately.

    • Verônica, yup, they totally take it all sometimes, front AND back. I know a couple of people (like two or three) who do, and I’ve asked the woman who does my waxing about it before. I think the “most important” part for a “Brazilian” though, is the back, but also do know a lot of foreign people assume we just all go bare. Which we don’t 🙂

  9. LOL! I’m glad I already knew all these things, though I’m far from a Brazil specialist. 😉 I love Brazilian portuguese, btw, so much nicer and more flowing than Portuguese from Portugal!

    Misconceptions? I used to think people in Belarus spoke Belarussian. Well, Belarussian does exist, but the official and most widely-used language over there is Russian, plain and simple. (Not like in Ukraine, where Ukrainian and Russian are pretty much on a par.) Actually, I guess I’m learning things all the time, but once I know them, it’s hard to remember what I used to think before…

    As to misconceptions about my country: people don’t know that France has got a piece of Catalunya. When I say I grew up in Catalonia, people go: in Spain? No, guys, in France. Or when I say “south of France”, they ask: Côte d’Azur, or Pays Basque? And I’m like: neither! The real south. The part of France which is the most down south… aka Roussillon, where Pyrenees meet Mediterranean.

    Also, people think Paris is cool. I’ve lived over three years in Paris, and I *hate* it! It’s a very aggressive, narrow, unwelcoming city IMO. At last, I often read funny things in novels, about French people (and men especially) being romantic. Yeah, just let me roll my eyes a sec. I genuinely have no idea what is supposed to be meant by that…

    • Asia, THANK YOU on the Portuguese! I happen to agree with you. What’s with these people from Portugal and their language??? Pfft??? 🙂

      I had a friend from Belarus once. He told me they spoke Russian and Belorussian where he lived, but he spoke Belorussian more. Maybe it was the region he lived? I don’t know, but I clearly remember him telling me it was his first and dominant language.

      Honestly, I’ve only heard bad things about Paris. Every single person I’ve ever met who’s been to Paris has only commented on how they’ve been rude to them there and how the city stinks, how they’re arrogant and how everything is overpriced. Pretty, sure, but somewhat… overrated. I have no desire to go to Paris. 🙂

  10. Samara

    Shout it out! Spread the news! Post de utilidade publica mudial! Mas se vc parar pra pensar, além dos esteriotipos serem de mão dupla, existe bastante aqui mesmo no Brasil, de região pra região, estada pra estado…

    • Acho que os estereótipos existem em todos os lugares. Nós mesmas temos eles às vezes, tenho certeza (vai dizer que quando escreveu isso não pensou “Aqueles xxx abestados que pensam que a gente aqui do Nordeste é isso ou aquilo?” hahaha) 😀

  11. Samara

    *esterEótipos Sempre erro essa palavra.

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