Where Babies Come From (aka Babies in Cages)

Don’t worry, you’re not up for a Biology lesson. I never really liked Biology much to start with. But let’s talk about where babies come from, shall we? It’s a dicey topic, I know. And, you’re probably shaking your head right now, thinking, of course you know where babies come from, if you’re old enough to read this blog, you’re old enough to know your business. But… do you??? Let me tell you a little story…

I must have been about three or four when in my full innocence, I went up to my mother and asked her one of the most feared questions to parents (especially first time parents): “Mommy, where do babies come from?” (mind you, I don’t actually *remember* how it happened, I remember bits of it, so, the dialogue is all fluff). Of course, like any mother would hearing that question from her little angel, my mom blanched, then gasped, then coughed, gulped for air, took a deep breath. I assume she was debating what to tell me. She let out her breath slowly, as she decided I was old enough to know the truth. So, she told me where babies come from.

She told me she and my daddy really wanted a baby girl, so, they went to the baby store. Yes, I said the baby store. There, she told me, the babies were kept in little cages. Not like animals, of courses, but cages, to make sure they didn’t escape and they were safe. They looked through hundreds of cages, many, many little, cute, chubby babies, trying to find the perfect baby just for them. They surveyed little eyes and feet and finally, finally, picked the most beautiful little girl to take home with them. A sweet, kind, perfect little girl they chose to name Barbara. Me. Of course, for my little innocent mind, that story was more than satisfying. I thoroughly believed it and happily went along with it for years.

It wasn’t until my mom got pregnant with my brother and there was a baby in her belly that I started to get a little suspicious that the whole baby in cages at the baby store story was a bit edgy. Eventually, she told me the “truth”, because I remember that by mid-third grade I was discussing “the facts of life” with all my third grade little friends. But, you know what??? I don’t remember that conversation. I don’t remember the details. I just know that I eventually learned that. But I’ll always remember all about the baby store and choosing the perfect baby.

And, let’s be real here. If I think about it, my parents and all (ew!), I very, very, very much prefer the baby in cages at the baby store story. So much, that’s what I’m telling my children someday when they’re young enough to believe it. I think it’s a beautiful memory! 🙂

So, tell me, readers. What did your parents tell you when you asked them about where babies come from? What did you tell your children? Did you tell them the truth or did you tell them a story? Stork? Anyone else came from the baby store like me? I’d love to know…