Everyone does stupid things, that’s a human thing. Every once in a while, we catch ourselves wondering, “What the hell was I thinking when I did that?” Mind you, I’m not talking about those big, life-changing mistakes, like marrying the guy that was absolutely wrong for you, or choosing the wrong major at University and only realize it years later. No, these things, maybe at the time, you felt different. Maybe you had a change of heart. Sometimes, it’s hard to know if something’s right or wrong for us until we’ve actually experienced it. Those mistakes are normal and understandable, it’s part of everyone’s life. No, here, I’m talking about unquestionably stupid things, just plain and simply stupid, with no margin for interpretation that would ever justify it. Like that one time I put my hand inside the blender and turned it on. I kid you not.
Whoever first said that idle hands are the Devil’s playground had something going there. I was twelve years old and extremely bored. I don’t remember much of that day or what in the world was going through my mind as I walked into the kitchen, looking for something to do, when I stared at the blender and thought, “Hey, I’m gonna stick my hand in that thing and see what happens if I turn it on.” Actually, it didn’t happen exactly like that. Firstly, I just walked to the damned thing and started playing with the blades, spinning with my fingers, you know how it goes. Then, I had the *brilliant* idea to see if it would still spin I if held the blades and turned it on. Let me tell you, it spins. And there will be blood.
Everything happened very fast, the time that took between my brain registering the blade was spinning, the shock of the impact, the panic of wondering if I’d have fingers left when I pulled my hand out, was a matter of seconds, but it felt much longer. I looked at my bloodied hand, unable to count if all the fingers were there, and ran to my mother, a desperate cry out of my chest before I could stop it. “Mom*sobs*my.” I showed my hand and watched her blanch at the sight of blood. “What happened?” she yelled, cried, her eyes panicky. “I… put.. my *sniffles* hand into the blender *sobs* and… and… and… turned it oooooon *big sobs*” The look on her face was a mix of incredulity and horror and shock. Like she couldn’t believe it. It took her a good while to get passed the speechlessness and yell: “WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?”
My answer? “I don’t know. It came up in my head.” To this day, I still don’t know what I was thinking, how that ever seemed like a good idea. It’s so incredibly stupid, there’s just no justification to ever doing something like that.
So, readers, I ask you, have you ever did something so unquestionably stupid there’s just no excuse? What was it? Do you know what you were thinking or did it just “came up in your head”? Did you get in trouble for it? Share with us!!! 🙂
Oh, and, I’m happy to report that luckily I still have all my fingers.