On my last post, I said I believe in happy endings. Yup, I’m the girl who daydreams about her very own Happily Ever After after reading all those romance novels. And I’m proud of that. I think it’s very easy to be cynical in today’s world.
What I failed to mention last post, though, was WHAT is my idea of a happy ending. It should be obvious, shouldn’t it? I mean, I read *romance* novels. Duh, happy ending is when they catch the killer (okay, so, I read a lot of romantic suspense), hero and heroine get together, they have kids and pet and no one dies, right? Well, not quite. To me, there’s a great, great difference between the happy endings in books and the happy endings in real life: in real life, I don’t think a guy is necessary for a happy ending. Let me elaborate.
There was a movie I saw once, that I won’t name because I don’t want to give spoilers, but it’s a romantic comedy. And it has the best happily ever after I’ve ever seen. Guy and girl are together, there’s conflict, it goes from back to worse and worse. And, in the end, they don’t stay together. Oh, no. They go their separate ways. BUT, the girl gets the job of her dreams. In the end, when it seems her life is over, she gets a call, the job she applied for and wants more than anything is hers. And off she goes, to her happy ending. I cried in the end of this movie, I thought it was beautiful and touching. And, believe me, I’ve never cried in a movie because of a traditional “they end up together” in the end.
A few years ago, I did a survey and asked people, that very basic question, “If you could have the man of your dreams or the job of your dreams, which one would you choose?” And all the answers I got, ALL of them, were the man of their dreams. And I thought it was funny, because, my answer would be the j0b. Always the job. You see, I believe personal realization is much, much, much more important to happiness than a person, no matter how wonderful and perfect and right for you this person is. It’s easy to see unhappy women in a great marriage, because they wake up in the morning and feel they have no purpose in life, that their job is a waste of time, it doesn’t make her happy. To me, it’d be torture going out to work and doing something I hate every day, even if I got to come home to a man I love. However, with a job that was perfect for me, that made me feel accomplished and whole, I don’t think it would make me nearly as unhappy to come home to no husband.
Does that make me cynical?
You know, when I think about real, true, heart warming happy endings, I think about my parents’ marriage. My parents’ marriage, which lasted about three years, twenty years ago. They’ve been divorced for a very long time, and, honestly, that’s the happiest ending I’ve ever seen. You see, my parents are best friends. They’re always getting together and talking, and, believe me, my father never talks, believe me, I’ve been in a twelve-hour flight with him. But with my mom? He talks like he doesn’t talk to anyone else, including myself, my sister, my grandma, my stepmom. We’ll all go out to dinner on birthdays, holidays, and sometimes just because. My father is my brother’s Godfather. You know, my brother, from my mom’s sec0nd marriage. My mom gets along with my stepmom better than I do — they talk and gossip and have fun. It’s so funny on my birthday when my parents (and stepmom) sit together, talk and laugh and my friends just look wide-eyed (even if they see it every year). My parents weren’t cut out to be married. They weren’t in love enough for this ki9nd of relationship. But they love each other, and are great friends. How can you tell me that this is not a happy ending?
I don’t know, maybe I am cynical up to some point, I just don’t want my happiness to depend on having a man. I always read chick-flicks and it annoys me when women with great job, very accomplished, smart, funny, successful think their life has no meaning because they don’t have a guy. Really? Are we that dependent on someone else for happiness?
The way I see it, a true Happily Ever After depends on being happy with yourself, doing something you love, something that makes you want to get up in the morning and make the world a better place. It’s finding love, too. Self-love. It’s loving yourself; loving the person you are. I think, in fact, that’s a big turn on for guys. And, really, that’s the happy ending I believe in. And that’s what I hope to have someday in my life.
What about you? What is your happy ending? Does it necessarily involve a guy? Do you think I’m cynical?