And they lived Happily Ever After…

On my last post, I said I believe in happy endings. Yup, I’m the girl who daydreams about her very own Happily Ever After after reading all those romance novels. And I’m proud of that. I think it’s very easy to be cynical in today’s world.

What I failed to mention last post, though, was WHAT is my idea of a happy ending. It should be obvious, shouldn’t it? I mean, I read *romance* novels. Duh, happy ending is when they catch the killer (okay, so, I read a lot of romantic suspense), hero and heroine get together, they have kids and pet and no one dies, right? Well, not quite. To me, there’s a great, great difference between the happy endings in books and the happy endings in real life: in real life, I don’t think a guy is necessary for a happy ending. Let me elaborate.

There was a movie I saw once, that I won’t name because I don’t want to give spoilers, but it’s a romantic comedy. And it has the best happily ever after I’ve ever seen. Guy and girl are together, there’s conflict, it goes from back to worse and worse. And, in the end, they don’t stay together. Oh, no. They go their separate ways. BUT, the girl gets the job of her dreams. In the end, when it seems her life is over, she gets a call, the job she applied for and wants more than anything is hers. And off she goes, to her happy ending. I cried in the end of this movie, I thought it was beautiful and touching. And, believe me, I’ve never cried in a movie because of a traditional “they end up together” in the end.

A few years ago, I did a survey and asked people, that very basic question, “If you could have the man of your dreams or the job of your dreams, which one would you choose?” And all the answers I got, ALL of them, were the man of their dreams. And I thought it was funny, because, my answer would be the j0b. Always the job. You see, I believe personal realization is much, much, much more important to happiness than a person, no matter how wonderful and perfect and right for you this person is. It’s easy to see unhappy women in a great marriage, because they wake up in the morning and feel they have no purpose in life, that their job is a waste of time, it doesn’t make her happy. To me, it’d be torture going out to work and doing something I hate every day, even if I got to come home to a man I love. However, with a job that was perfect for me, that made me feel accomplished and whole, I don’t think it would make me nearly as unhappy to come home to no husband.

Does that make me cynical?

You know, when I think about real, true, heart warming happy endings, I think about my parents’ marriage. My parents’ marriage, which lasted about three years, twenty years ago. They’ve been divorced for a very long time, and, honestly, that’s the happiest ending I’ve ever seen. You see, my parents are best friends. They’re always getting together and talking, and, believe me, my father never talks, believe me, I’ve been in a twelve-hour flight with him. But with my mom? He talks like he doesn’t talk to anyone else, including myself, my sister, my grandma, my stepmom. We’ll all go out to dinner on birthdays, holidays, and sometimes just because. My father is my brother’s Godfather. You know, my brother, from my mom’s sec0nd marriage. My mom gets along with my stepmom better than I do — they talk and gossip and have fun. It’s so funny on my birthday when my parents (and stepmom) sit together, talk and laugh and my friends just look wide-eyed (even if they see it every year). My parents weren’t cut out to be married. They weren’t in love enough for this ki9nd of relationship. But they love each other, and are great friends. How can you tell me that this is not a happy ending?

I don’t know, maybe I am cynical up to some point, I just don’t want my happiness to depend on having a man. I always read chick-flicks and it annoys me when women with great job, very accomplished, smart, funny, successful think their life has no meaning because they don’t have a guy. Really? Are we that dependent on someone else for happiness?

The way I see it, a true Happily Ever After depends on being happy with yourself, doing something you love, something that makes you want to get up in the morning and make the world a better place. It’s finding love, too. Self-love. It’s loving yourself; loving the person you are. I think, in fact, that’s a big turn on for guys. And, really, that’s the happy ending I believe in. And that’s what I hope to have someday in my life.

What about you? What is your happy ending? Does it necessarily involve a guy? Do you think I’m cynical?

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5 Comments

Filed under Life in General

5 responses to “And they lived Happily Ever After…

  1. Lidia Cardoso

    Absolutely true! Happy endings mean different things for different people. As obvious as it seems we are all different and we seem to keep forgetting… WHY?! I wish you the best and I know you’ll find the happiest ending, the one that fits you just right!

  2. Liana

    Muito bom. Finais felizes são muito pessoais. Cada pessoa tem um desejo diferente, um sonho diferente… Mas, definitivamente, quanto mais realizada você for, quanto mais autoestima tiver, mais próximo o seu final feliz vai estar.

  3. Diane

    I think you are brilliant! Unless you love yourself… you will never find that true happy ending. And I believe that doing what you love – having that dream, or near dream job – can do far more for true happiness than any companion make up for. Keep writing what you think – the world needs to hear it!

  4. Babe,

    I’m a little bit surprised with my own stupidity. I’ve postponed you. I’ve postponed reading what you write. Me. I did. I can’t believe it. I just read what you wrote and I saw how I miss you, your witty personality, your smartness. I need to talk to you. Skype me, ok?! I need to hear your voice. Maybe, this time, this could be considered an immediate happy ending. =)
    Love.

  5. Asia Morela

    I don’t think you’re cynical. I like what you say, although I couldn’t apply it to myself, simply because, like somebody else commented before me, every person has to find their own happy ending.

    I have to agree on the fact that happiness happens inside of yourself, not through other things or people. Being happy is first of all being happy with who you are and what you’re doing.

    Perhaps I’m not as career-oriented as you are, though. Working for a salary is not my idea of happiness, accomplishment or freedom. What I want most in my life is to be a mother, and yes, that involves a father, hence a guy. My mom was a housewife and I know that she suffered from not having a job, not being economically independent or fulfilled. But I am not like my mom. I love being home and doing my own stuff, living in “my own little world”. I can imagine writing from home, starting a business from home, all kinds of exciting stuff which I won’t be able to do if I start looking for an actual job.

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